‘dont go crazy’

my mom dug out a luggage case for me. hmmm, the problem is she only dug out one. how will i fit everything i need if she’s only given me one luggage case to put it in?! this is surely a dilemna.

she thinks it will be too difficult for me to haul around two suitcases AND a backpack (it’s a big hiking backpack because i might need it for travelling during the weekends) AND my handbag. but i think it’s do-able. sure i’ll be awkward for a day around customs and immigration in the airport, but how else will i bring everything i need!

my mom says to only bring 3 pairs of shoes. um.

and to only bring 2 other handbags. um.

i can’t decide which scarves to bring? um.

and jeans? and teeshirts? and sweaters? um.

too many decisions!

 

now my mom warns me not to go “crazy” when i go shopping in japan. pshaw. me? no restraint when it comes to shopping? umpossible.

packing flusters me.

love ya later!

 

japan in a week, yo!

so i have been pretty busy lately with complications regarding my japan trip. but i wont completely relax until after wednesday when i pick up my visa. boo.

and my japanese still kinda sucks. i cannot understand anything nor can i formulate sentences. i hope this will all change when i arrive in japan.

okay that’s all for now!

xox

 

il fait parti de moi hier soir

you know that ‘the office’ episode where the guy is heartbroken so he plays ‘goodbye my lover’ on repeat. well i am not listening to any particular song on repeat but i am listening to a playlist of songs that remind me of nicholas. and i am not heartbroken. i just realized i will not be seeing him for possibly eight months, and maybe three months if i am lucky.

it still has not kicked in yet. the closest moment to me realizing that i will not see him for a long time was when i wanted to drop him off instead of him bussing me home. i wanted to spend more time with him, you see. and his mom wanted him home by 7 30. so i walked him to his apartment. when he finally went into the elevator it still did not hit me. a few moments later he opened the elvator door and started waving at me. i waved back. and then the door closed. i stood there looking at the numbers go up…G, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 and finally it landed on the 14th floor. and that’s when i knew the elevator door was not going to open again and i would not see him smiling at me while he waved.

still, i did not cry.

i went home and started compiling all our photos into the photo album he gave me. i called him once i got home to let him know i got home safely. and then he called me after his shower. still, it did not hit me.

he called me after he checked in the airport and we talked for an hour. and still, it did not hit me. i felt indifferent. after we hung up i went to sleep immediately.

i woke up around 2 though and i probably didn’t sleep until 5 even after i drank warm milk. so maybe it does affect me subconsciously.

i woke up at 8. and didnt’ make the playlist until 9. and this is what i have been listening to for the past 1.5 hrs.

ideally i would not want a boyfriend before i leave for japan because distance will either make the heart grow fonder or it will make the eyes wander. it’s too much of an emotional risk. and nicholas was never in the picture when i applied for the japan co-op program. i’ve asked him several times “what did you get yourself into?” and he’d always reply with “a great thing.”

we’ve already taken a giant leap of faith. we’ll have to see where we go from here…

 

i’ve always wanted a gay friend…

always, always, always.

now that i have one, i wonder why i haven’t been able meet some sooner!
haha don’t get me wrong or anything… i don’t make friends based on their sexuality. it’s not like i have some sort of criteria sheet that i make them fill or anything!

well, i met my new best friend at work last week. we just *clicked* because it’s practically written in our DNA or something.

this is why gay friends are fab:
did you know they always give honest and fabulous shopping advice?
it’s true. i came into work when i saw him in change rooms. i tried on a couple hats and he just openly gave me his opinion. i never asked for it– i like shopping on my own. but it was very sweet of him to give me his honest opinion. being the indecisive person that i am, i really needed it at that moment.

did you know they always give great relationship advice?
it’s true. one of my co-workers was having relationship problems and he just stepped up to the plate and gave her his two cents. i was listening the whole time amazed by his insight. it was totally in an optimistic guy p.o.v. because sometimes girls jump to conclusion and assume the worst. at least i know i am like that. but listening to him say a few things, as briefly as it was, was enlightening and helpful.

did you know that they will be your gay-club clubbing buddy?
it’s true. i told him i wanted to go to celebrities and only guess what? I AM GOING NEXT SATURDAY. i have always wanted to go to a gay club since before i turned 19. and this heightened after i went to the gay pride parade. i am super excited for next saturday!!!

anyway, i am sure this list will lengthen as i begin to spend more time with him. too bad i am leaving soon! or not. stupid japanese embassy. did i mention i dont know when i am leaving to japan now?!

xox
miss distressed.

 

wordpress changed.

i don’t know what the wordpress reader sees, but for the wordpress writer, this site has changed.

i don’t like it when sites do that. about a couple weeks ago facebook pulled the same thing: they changed their site. when i was going through my account information and account settings i found it hard to navigate.

when i returned to xanga after abandoning it for over a year, i didn’t even know what to do anymore. everything changed.

the only thing constant is change.

and this makes me wonder: what will happen when i come back from japan after 8 months and all my friends have changed and i can no longer communicate with them? what if my leave causes rifts in our relationships? what if i’ve changed?

i don’t like change. can you tell?

everytime i order food from a restaurant i never step outside of my comfort zone. i always order the same thing. i am loyal to what i like. but this is food. food cannot make judgements and reject me.

but people can.

will i stay among the same circle of friends when i come back? will i talk to the same peeps as i always do? will i be able to tell liss every second of my life? or will she find someone else to do that? will my baby cousins even remember me after i come back? or will they forget?

oh yeah.
on friday i went to the police station after procrastinating for 3 weeks. it costed $60 to get a criminal records check! SIXTY-DOLLLARS, HOLLLARRRR!!

i wonder why saving money is so hard. i wonder.

 

when i first heard i was going to japan…

…i expanded my work availability so that i would receive more shifts and rake in more dough! but a few days later i changed it back. why?

well, who ever looks back in retrospect on their life and goes: oh geez, i wish i spent my youth working more.
or do they go: i wish i spent more time with my family and friends.

i don’t want to be homesick in japan and wish i spent more time with my family and friends. because i doubt i will be homesick in japan and wish i took more shifts. it’s a possibility…but i highly doubt it.

which is why i am so excited for this weekend!
i am going to go to paintballing…work (but with winnie there it will be a hoot)…go out for fondue…work on my essay (ugh) AND MAYBE perhaps go out on sunday night.

ooh tomorrow i start my first japanese lesson! it will be exciting!!!

but what i am most excited for is bowling night tomorrow. im setting lisa up with this guy…bwhahahha.

sidenote**
lisa watched oprah yesterday and apparently…there was this guy who broke their penis in half while engaged in intercourse.
lisa says: you know, you can break your penis in half if you do sex wrong.
justin goes: how do you do sex WRONG?
- if you miss and hit a wall
- how does it break in half? the law of physics say..well, for example if i stick this fork into a wall it will puncture the wall. the fork won’t break in half.
- well is your penis made out of steel?

so guys, be careful. sex is dangerous. not only can it expose you to stds or cause unwanted pregnancy but you can break your penis in half! so the lesson is: DONT HAVE SEX.

love ya later,
boots

 

japan…and other things.

*plays bamboo music in the background*

–wait, is bamboo japanese-y at all? sounds more chinese to me. anyway…

so i am in the process of filling out my visa (or have i already mentioned this in my previous post?) i need a lot of stuff…letter of studentship, letter of recommendation, passport pictures, passport photocopies, health care photocopies, etc, etc, etc.!.!.!.

now i know where to book my flight it wont be too expensive. thank goodness i made friends with a japanese peer in english class last semester. and thank goodness the same friend is in my sociology class this year. thank goodness to making friends! anyway, she gave me this site where i can book fares for super cheap! im really excited.

i am going to leave in the first week of may.

and i don’t know when i will come back. maybe in late december? hopefully before christmas!

actually, i am kind of sick of talking about japan. shall we move on?

I KNOW!
yesterday my dearest winnie came over to my house and we cleaned up my room. SERIOUSLY, major transformation right there. maybe i will upload pictures…we’ll see. MY ROOM WAS SUCH A DISASTER. i am a tornado. tehhe.
we’ve went through 6 garbage bags and a box full of recycling material.
and four hours later…
my room isnt totally clean yet, we never got time to clean up my wardrobe. but my room is basically clean. it’s so clean it echoes… i forgot how much space i had in there.
it’s amazing. <3

okay. this is why i have winnie so much. my room wa spretty dusty, im not going to lie. we probably wiped out a whole civilization of dust bunnies. the job was not glamorous at all. but she’s a true trooper, no jokes. and she’s a great motiviator…at times, a tyrant. well, she got the job done. and she volutneered to come back again to clean my wardrobe because she knows i wont do it unless hse’s there. well, i will do it some time this weekend…i promise? well, don’t take my word for it because i may not do it after all. tehehhe.

yeah, so my room is SO clean right now it ECHOES (i can’t get over how it echoes, can you tell?). it’s kind of freaky. but i love it. my goal is to keep the cleansiness for the two months that i will be there. just so i can practice cleaning up after myself and keeping things tidy. after all, my home in japan will be the same size of my room, no doubt (small house, not big room).

anyway, im going to header now.

love ya later,
boots