i’ve always wanted a gay friend…

always, always, always.

now that i have one, i wonder why i haven’t been able meet some sooner!
haha don’t get me wrong or anything… i don’t make friends based on their sexuality. it’s not like i have some sort of criteria sheet that i make them fill or anything!

well, i met my new best friend at work last week. we just *clicked* because it’s practically written in our DNA or something.

this is why gay friends are fab:
did you know they always give honest and fabulous shopping advice?
it’s true. i came into work when i saw him in change rooms. i tried on a couple hats and he just openly gave me his opinion. i never asked for it– i like shopping on my own. but it was very sweet of him to give me his honest opinion. being the indecisive person that i am, i really needed it at that moment.

did you know they always give great relationship advice?
it’s true. one of my co-workers was having relationship problems and he just stepped up to the plate and gave her his two cents. i was listening the whole time amazed by his insight. it was totally in an optimistic guy p.o.v. because sometimes girls jump to conclusion and assume the worst. at least i know i am like that. but listening to him say a few things, as briefly as it was, was enlightening and helpful.

did you know that they will be your gay-club clubbing buddy?
it’s true. i told him i wanted to go to celebrities and only guess what? I AM GOING NEXT SATURDAY. i have always wanted to go to a gay club since before i turned 19. and this heightened after i went to the gay pride parade. i am super excited for next saturday!!!

anyway, i am sure this list will lengthen as i begin to spend more time with him. too bad i am leaving soon! or not. stupid japanese embassy. did i mention i dont know when i am leaving to japan now?!

xox
miss distressed.

 

i just got off the phone with…

my ex-roommate’s (carla) boyfriend (tim).

back in the summer of 2005 i attended the j’explore french program. i roomed with the two most fabulous people you could ever meet: carla from nova scotia and nala from toronto. we made a vow to write to each other every two months by snail mail– never happened. nor have i been getting any telephone calls from either of them. i’ve only called carla one other time and i’ve called nala once before too. but i dont’ recall them ever calling me.

well last night, i had a dream about carla and tim– they met at french camp, and had a little break inbetween but continued their relationship, and both attend MUN university in newfoundland– and how they visited me. it was a vivid dream. my store manager was in the dream too. kind of weird.

they wanted to go eat pho and then i promised them that i’d take them to bon’s for breakfast the following morning.

last night i was about to call them, but i was too caught up in watching random ’sex and the city’ episodes for the first time. i guess this is why i dreamt about them.

unfortunately carla wasn’t home and was at the library. so i talked to tim instead. he said he wasn’t much of a conversationalist and our convo wasn’t more than 8 min. but boy did those 8 min seem to drag on! it’s hard for people to just reconnect again after such a long period of non-communication.

well, this isn’t totally true.

my friend christie, whom i also met at french camp, call me once in awhile and we’d take turns. all our convos are about an hr long. but that’s short considering how much catching up we have to do on each other’s lives! we talk during the summer and during winter break. that’s it. so really, one hr isn’t really sufficient catching-up time at all! oh well. they’re still great convos, nonetheless.

i talked about this before: people start off as strangers, become friends, and then become strangers again. it’s a sad, sad phenomenon. but it’s reality.

but i’m such a sentimental person, i wish it weren’t true.

anyway, i bet those were a painful 8 min for tim. esp cause he had to study for his final tomorrow and woke up at 6am to do a final and then study some more.

next time i hope to get a hold of carla, my dear, sweet, sweet ex-roommate whom i miss beaucoup.

i will now leave you with a quote from catcher in the rye: “don’t tell anybody anything. if you do, you start missing everybody.”

xox

 

customer compliment

yesterday i took the #16 down to 29th ave station. typical route i take to go downtown or metro or anywhere else in between.

i’m a commuter. i take the bus all the time– it’s my only way of transportation, basically.

i’ve met some pretty rude bus drivers. ones that would give attitude and would just give you a grumpy look when you step onto the bus. those folks hate their jobs and they don’t even try to hide it.

i’ve also met some pretty outgoing and spunky bus drivers.
just the other day on board the 99 the bus driver said:
-and this is cambie, where the government is taking our tax dollars to tear up this street.
-next stop is granville…granny-ville
-at ubc for the egotistic elite. haha.
another time when i boarded the 99 it was the bus driver’s birthday. the entire bus ride he narrated it like it was an airplane.
-we’re experiencing some minor turbulence
and since it was his birthday…
-”instead of the 99 b-line, can we call this the birthday bus?”
-”happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me”
that morning, he received a lot of ‘happy birthdays’

so back to why i started this blog in the first place…
yesterday when i took the #16 i met a super friendly bus driver. he said ‘hello’ to everybody that came onto the bus. he would announce the bus stop prior to stopping and he was just so gosh darn jolly! the #16 gonig to 29th ave starts from arbutus. now, i’ve never taken the whole ’start to end’ bus ride so i don’t really know how long it takes. but i’m assuming over an hr. so, for the bus driver to keep up his enthusiasm and not lose spunk by the time he arrived at my bus stop is super impressive. aside from the said, translink said that the bus should arrive at 3 27 and it did! so he was punctual AND friendly AND helpful.

what more could you ask for?

so after we arrived at the station i went up to the bus driver and i told him how much i appreciated his friendliness and helpfulness. i asked him if there was a name i could reference or an employee number so i could make a compliment to translink. he was so gracious and flattered.

afterwards when i arrived at metrotown i called translink and i gave him all the bus information i knew. what time he picked me up and from where. the bus number. and when we arrived at the skytrain station. i think the lady on the phone was very surprised that someone was calling to make a compliment. but people should be acknowledged for their great job. i’m always so flattered when a customer asks for my name so she could compliment me to the manager.

and it made me feel good that i was able to encourage that bus driver for doing what he’s been doing. and to make him know that his willingness to go the extra mile is appreciated.

if everybody gave a little compliment, the world would be a happier place!

xox
 

 

i am not an athlete.

two days ago when it was super sunny (like it is today) i went out for a jog around my neighbourhood. do not be surprised here, folks. back in the summer i used to jog around my neighbourhood often! well, i’ve basically been a retired jogger for about half a year and after running the other day my tighs hurt!

the muscles feel tangled. like it hurts when i go up stairs and it hurts even more when i go down stairs. when i woke up it hurt to walk out of my room. it just hurts! okay fine, it dones’t hurt that much, it is bareable, but it feels uncomfortable.

next time i will stretch. well i kind of stretched on tuesday but that didn’t help either.

anyway, i think i need to find a new form of exercise because people who run/jog get big calves and my calves are already unproportionately large already! i like hiking, but that will also work out my calves as well. and if i have big calves, i will find it hard to fit my legs into tall boots! which btw, i bought a new pair yesterday <3.

it hurts though. i went to the casino last night and it started to scrap against my ankle and it hurted. maybe i just need to break into them…they are a size and a half too big. but usually people wear boots that are a bit bigger than their normal shoe size so they can wear thick socks. maybe i should just wear two pairs of thick socks. tehehhe

i think i am going to take a nap…

good day!

 

i’m not one to be modest with my achievements…

…but i’m also not one to hold back when it comes to being open with my mistakes. this dear reader, is the value of humility.

so two nights ago i was pretty stoked about baking another batch of vegan brownies. how do you bake vegan brownies you ask? well, instead of using milk, butter and eggs you replace it with applesauce. sounds far-fetched? well, just a tad. but it is still delicious and you do not taste a hint of apple at all, really!

so after buying chocolate chips and walnuts i went straight to the kitchen and started baking. everything was going dandy! i had my dry ingredients in one bowl and my wet ingredients in another. everything was great. but only guess what? i used a TABLESPOON to measure my baking powder, baking soda, salt, and vanilla extract instead of using a TEASPOON. hot diggity.

did i mention i attempted to make four batches as opposed to their recommendated one batch? so i 4X everything! fancy that. i should have known something was fishy by the size of the TBSP (i swear, the B was practically camouflaged). i used 120 mL of baking powder and 60mL of baking soda and quite a bit of salt…

have you ever tried salty brownies? if you’d like to try some…call me up. i need to get rid of my brownies or else i’ll just end up composting it all.

don’t get me wrong, my brownies are still very delicious! i just can’t seem to swallow any of that deliciousness…

xoxo
–boots

 

the gap between my hyphenated identity

 

i am a second-generation chinese-canadian. or am i a third generation?
these things become problematic.
you see, my father’s father immigrated to vancouver back in the late 50’s…or was it the 60’s? details aren’t important. anyway, my grandfather opened a restaurant here in vancouver called “the sunnyside cafe.” how do i know all this stuff? back in grade 7 we had the option of working on a heritage workshop or performing a play. from the direction of this blog, it’s quite obvious i chose the former.
so here’s my point: this makes My father a second-generation chinese-canadian. so we can’t both be second-generation chinese-canadians– this is my logic. but you see, my mom immigranted here from canton, china. thus, most people would consider me to be a second-generation chinese-canadian because of this.

anyway, chines— i mean, Lunar New Year is fast approaching (three days away to be precise), and the gap between my father’s side and my mother’s side is even more distinct around these cultural celebrations.

my mom is full-out traditional. today is the official day of clean-up and she has not let me off the hook just yet. which explains why my room is only half cleaned. when i go over to my mom’s parent’s house i have to speak to them in chinese or else they will not understand me. and i must greet my aunts and uncles by their individual kinship terms. in case you are not familiar with the system, the term “aunt” takes on several forms depending on whom you are addressing. your mom’s sister is called something completely different from your dad’s sister. and your mom’s brother’s wife is called something completely different from your dad’s brother’s wife. and so forth. so to make this whole confusion a little more easy to comprehend: there are a lot of terms to remember, which explains the pause that becomes between the “hi” and the “kinship term.”

i only have things half as bad. you see, on my dad’s side we don’t do any of that stuff. like i’ve mentioned earlier, they were born and raised here so they’re as white-washed as my friends and i. a simple “hi auntie janet” or “hi auntie lorna” works perfectly for them.
…and when it comes to Lunar New Year, everything is lacking as well. they usually give about 10-20 dollars to each person. and maybe i’m being greedy, but they also don’t understand the traditions as well. my auntie lorna came by yesterday (probably because she didn’t know the exact new year date) to give red envelopes to my mom to hand out to us. and my auntie janet, well, one year she only handed out ONE envelope because my uncle was there with her. and when you’re married you’re suppose to hand out TWO despite them being there or not.

so i guess it’s minor things like that…

and during christmas dinners at my house, i’d have both side of the family over. my dad’s side would take over the dining room table and sparsely in the living rooms upstairs. while my mom’s side would take over the living room and kitchen downstairs. the stairs is symbolic of the hypen that is a part of my identity. in one realm, everyone speaks chinese and there are little kids running around everyone. in the other realm, everyone speaks perfect english (sans accent) and their kids are watching christmas specials.

i am not a typical second-generation chinese-canadian with parents and family members speaking broken english. the hypen between my being ‘chinese’ and my being ‘canadian’ is separated by some distant force much greater than the hypen itself.

 

how rude!

okay reader, i am in a dilemna– or should i say, i have been in one for quite a while.

there’s this girl, you see, i’ve had class with her since first year and i liked her a lot back when we sat together in lecture and we didnt’ really have much quality interactions. things should have stayed that way.

we hung out once before i went to china and she sort of annoyed me that day. but i thought: oh maybe i’m just moody and stressed about packing!

but then we hung out again when i came back and i immediately labeled her DEBBIE DOWNER (you know…that character from Mad TV)! I CANNOT STAND HER. it’s her attitude. it’s how her attitude is delivered in her tone. not so much what she says…all the time. but it’s How she says things.

she offends me!
“oh you like that…? i think that’s kind of ugly”

she pokes/taps me to get my attn!
it’s not like i’m a terrible deaf and you can’t get my attn by saying my name.

she doens’t say please and thank you!
i’m so……anal (there! i admit it!) sometimes and i always, always, always notice when someone doesn’t ask for something politely. they just take it and expect me to be fine with it. WELL I’M NOT. I’M BLOODY NOT! or maybe it’s just because i dont like you.

flashback: in grade 10 i had a pencil case full of assorted pencil crayons (i guess this will make it a pencil crayon case) and this girl (whom i didn’t quite fancy…and still dont) just went up to my desk adn started using my pencil crayons WITHOUT ASKING. WITHOUT PERMISSION. i guess this is where the association of bad feelings + taking without asking comes from. everytime someone does that, someone i don’t like, it just gives me a bigger excuse to hate them! i’m too irritable.

so my dilemna is: how do i continue hanging out with someone who bothers me to this great degree…but is also my lab partner and in my group for a project in another class? (yes, i have TWO classes with her…im going to lose my sanity!)

i’ve never had to work With her before, and now she bugs me EVEN MORE.
did you read the lab yet?
did you read the lab before class yet?
you’re going to read the lab tonight, right?
did you read the lab yesterday?
have you read the lab?
did you find the articles?
don’t forget to find the articles!
have you written the lit reviews?
did you bring your lit reviews?
don’t forget to read your lab for fri– SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!

i will EXPLODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDE one day–soon.

 

01. 21. 08.- the good, the bad and the beautiful

today was such a great day! one of those days when the weather outside directly reflects my internal feelings.

i woke up a little late, and i didn’t really have time to get ready but i caught the bus just in time. i got to the 99 bline a bit early and i had to wait for liss for about 7 minutes so i went into blenz to get hot chocolate. i saw my friend working but he didnt recognize me at first due to the morning rush resulting in me having to wear glasses. anywho, i was so slow at first. i gave him my order and he just smiled and told me to move along. i thought to myself: am i not at the cash desk? does he not want to take my order? so i got a free cup of white hot chocolate and it was yum. this was the beginning of my beautiful day.

and the bus ride was swell since i had liss’ company and we chit-chatted the whole way despite her hoarse and unattractive sick-voice.

after school today i bussed to broadway station. and only guess what! i left my lovely, purple, cozy mittens on the bus : ( i am SUCH a scatterbrain! and i saw the skytrain leave and i knew i would miss the bus so i called winnie and asked to go over (yes, im shameless).

fun times chez winnie. she had an on-call shift and we totally thought they wouldnt need her and we’d watch ‘27 dresses’ together, but fate had different plans for us. turns out they needed her because our store was doing an ADDITIONAL FIFTY PERCENT OFF ALL SALE ITEMS!! OMGAAAAAAAAAAAAT what a steal!
so she was like: do you want to go to metro instead?
then we went to metro only planning to do some light shopping before she had to go to her shift.
so i bought a pair of pretty knit white gloves at icing to compensate for my earlier loss. but only guess what? when i was trying on this cute, black, baby doll styled kensie jacket i wanted to try it with my new gloves. so when i whipped them out i noticed they were BOTH right handed!

just my luck indeed.
i went back hoping they may possibly have a left hand for me…but somebody wanted to punish me with cold hands today. but, i got my $3. 19 back…although i’d rather keep those pretty gloves.

anyway, after winnie left me to go to work i received a call from them half an hr later to go to work to help out. how could i refuse? i knew winnie was going to be there and i didn’t really have anything better to do…and being submersed in all the cheap merchandises helped me pick out some great deals for myself! tehhe. bon marche!

despite the fact my day didn’t go as perfectly planned…it turned out to be really awesome– surprisingly! i can’t stop smiling. this is my favourite thing to wear: a smile.

good night!
xox

 

a little part of me dies…

…when i have to wait outside for the bus and my ears are frozen to pure numbness. oh dear fate, why must such cruelty be put upon me?!
i’ve practically told the whole world now, but it never hurts to remind everyone the cause of my agony. well reader, last thursday my ear muffs snapped. i was putting it on my head and then it snapped and broke, never again to rest comfortably on my head.
every single time i go out and i’m wearing a fabulous outfit, i think inside my head: well folks, if you think this outfit is grass-kickin’ you should have seen it matched with my pair of ear muffs. pure gorgeousity.

like today, i’m pretty stoked about my outfit right now– even more so than usual. i bought a pair of hot tamale (aka red) denims at work last week and they are sooooo fabulous. and they made their debute on campus this morning. honestly, when i walked out of my house i felt like the street was my runway. i strutted that thang like no tomorrow! especially when i crossed that busy intersection. i felt those green eyes on me. i knew they wanted a pair. or at least they knew it looked good on me. hey, i’m not going to lie, they’re a pair of really hot denims. fashionably delicious!

which reminds me…how much more delicious it would have been if i had my pair of ear muffs…

OMGAT. I SOOOOOOO WANT THE PINK ONE!!

sooooooooooooooo beautiful!!! i really, really want the pink one!!!!!!

okay, when you lose something you treasure and adore, you may not immediately want a replacement because of all those precious memories you’ve had. BUT, eventaully you will need to because that thing you had was clearly a necessity (like my ear muffs were!) so what do you do? buy a new pair! but you can’t just buy ANY pair…if you’re going to replace your old ones, you’re going to have to do it right!

don’t settle for less. that’s what i always say. these burberry ear muffs are SOOOOOOOOOOO perfect. i want them!! i practically NEED them!! too bad they’re $125…quite pricey… my old ones were only $20. so this is like 5 times as expensive! hmmmmmmmmmmm

where is a january santa when you need one?

 

she’s been lonely her whole life.

yesterday i tagged along with my mom while she visited my yee poh (my grandpa’s cousin’s mother) at the senior home. i cannot fathom the thoughts that ran through my mind when i walked past the eating hall filled with other people’s grandfathers and grandmothers; but mostly grandmothers. my yee poh was in the recreation centre where they were watching some chinese television show. my mom scanned all the grandmother’s faces trying to find our yee poh. she was the only one wearing shades and a cap.

she was so overjoyed when she saw my mom and i. you could hear, but mostly feel her gratitude, warmth and appreciation for our visit. she kept on thanking my mom for visiting and she would reach out her hand for me ever so often and would grasp onto me. even though she’s my distant relative, i felt so close to her and so, so guilty at the same time. i could tell even though she was wearing shades that she was teary-eyed because even i felt overwhelmed that i wanted to cry. when we left i hugged her and she kissed me. and our departure only made me feel more guilty.

my mom only visits once a year. my grandpa visits once a year. her son visits ever so often. and her grandchildren and great-grandchildren visit infrequently.

when we left my mom told me how my yee poh’s been lonely her whole life. her husband was beat to death and she was left widowed. her son went to hong kong to make a living. and then he immigrated to canada with my grandpa. it wasn’t until her son married that she was able to move to canada. to their dismay, she didnt get along with her daughter in law, so she move out. then she worked as someone’s nanny until retirement. she lived alone in an apartment closeby to chinatown until she could no longer take care of herself. now she’s living in the senior’s home 3 yrs shy of 100.

are our own grandparents and greatgrandparents such a bother that we must remove them from society and into one institution? are we so consumed in our own lives and fortunes that we do not love and respect our elderly? this subject depresses me too much. a higher-being created humans so that every one of us will grow old, so why do we only send love and empathy to our senior familial ties at our own convenience? why should love be conditional and limited?